英文简历中不该说的话

致命的大错
  
　　"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."
  
　　"Qualifications: No education or experience."
  
　　"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."
  
　　"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."
  
　　"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."
  
　　"Fired because I fought for lower pay."
  
　　"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65" .
  
　　"Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."
  
　　"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."
  
　　"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately."
  
打字错误与语法错误
  
　　"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook." 
  
　　"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
  
　　"I am a rabid typist."
  
　　"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."
  
　　"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work."

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　　"Accounting cleric."
  
　　"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."
  
　　"Suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments."
  
　　"Suspected to graduate early next year."
  
　　"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
  
　　"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
  
　　"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
  
　　"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
  
　　"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."   

不应有的幽默
  
　　"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."
  
　　"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.) 
  
　　"But wait...theres more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."
  
　　"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
  
　　"My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a job-and I like your company i